Pre-Pregnancy - Blast Off

As written by Tink, friend of BINSI

A funny thing happens when you and your best friend are about the same age; you decide to have babies at the same time. A year ago, my BFF, B, and I were planning her wedding. We would walk the aisles of TJ Maxx, ogling home furnishings, crap we didn't need, excited about being married, imagining how great our homes would look with this or that inside. Now we're planning for the who-knows-when arrival of our first children. We recently took a trip to Babies R Us. I'd never been in that store before but I swear you enter another dimension when you walk through their front doors. You immediately turn into a something giddy and soft. No matter how tough you are, you end up running around the store, screeching, cooing, holding a pair of baby booties close to your cheek. Actually. we went in only because B had to get a baby shower gift. Yes, keep telling yourself that. I left Babies R Us with a little shirt for a 6 month old that says, "BLAST OFF." Reminder: I have no children.

BLAST OFF originated as the code word between J and I when we first started dating. We often wrestled, tickled, messed around as most new couples do. It usually continued until we were too tired from laughing or...er, got distracted. The winner of our bouts was determined usually by who was more willing to give in that day. It was a toss up between major leverage-long-limbed-lanky cyclist boy versus the girl who could (literally) bench press her boyfriend. One balmy summer afternoon while still living in Columbus, Ohio, one of us was not particularly up for a playful duel. We decided we needed to come up with a code word; a word that meant stop. A code word that is as serious as they come. An absolutely-no-matter-what-don't-you-dare-keep-going word. We honor it even today. It can be a complete buzz kill when one of us says it but we usually know it's coming. For example, after chasing the other around the house, falling on the floor, unable to breathe, laughing so hard your sides hurt, BLAST OFF usually comes out. It is inconceivable to break the code of trust those words harbor.

Anyway, B and I are walking up and down the aisles screeching like pterodactyls at all the baby gear. I want this for my baby's room! I heard this stroller is the best. This rocker is so comfortable! Do people really put their kid in that? What is THIS for? And the statement we've thought of too often, How cute would it be to give J (S, in B's case) something to let him know I'm pregnant?! Yes, of course, so cute. So cute. So....cute. So sickeningly cute. Wouldn't it be just as romantic to come out from the bathroom with the stick that shows I I ? No, it would be more memorable to have the cute and tiny t-shirt that shows how cute and tiny the creature he will soon be fathering is going to be. B says, "I was thinking about this onesie that says SWEET on it?" OMG, SO CUTE! Her last name is Sweet!

It brought to mind, if BLAST OFF means what I know it to mean then why do I want to get a shirt to tell my husband, whenever I am, that I am pregnant? Is it saying, Stop! You have to stop now! I'm giving you this shirt for a 6 month old! (I am convinced I am going to have a huge infant whom will immediately fit into 6 month old clothing). The only explanation I have is it isn't really the literal translation that BLAST OFF harbors but rather that this code is just ours, as our child will be just ours. (Insert: awww, so cute.) We can tell Baby, we waited, we calculated, we planned, we organized, we hoped, we dreamed, we counted days until your arrival and here is the shirt Mommy gave to Daddy to tell him you were on your way. Altogether now! Sooooo cute!!!

Well, I haven't really decided if I'll really make it an event. Then again, why not? I did buy the shirt. J asks every once in a while, What happened to those fruit and cheese plates you used to serve me while wearing sexy heels? Maybe he'll get a fruit and cheese plate and a tiny t-shirt...